Phillyax
by Lia-Osaka92
Summary: Yuuri is a potions teacher that finds himself in the midst of his worst nightmare: his roommate and lifelong crush Victor Nikiforov just drank a potion he was planning to use for class. Victuri, two-shot, Magic school AU
1. Part I

"Yuuri, I love you."

It was supposed to be a normal day, just like every other day that came before. Yuuri was not expecting to get all the air knocked out of his body so early in the morning.

"Eh?" he manages to breathe out, mind racing, heart thumping, staring at Victor with wide eyes. Did he just hear-? No, that's impossible. It's a misunderstanding. He's still half-asleep, possibly even dreaming. There's no way Victor would ever say–

"My apologies, my excitement may have made my words incomprehensible. I've been so overwhelmed by my feelings this morning I decided I couldn't wait one more second to let you know of my passions." Victor chants, waltzing towards Yuuri, coyly fluttering his eyelashes as he grabs Yuuri's waist with one arm, pulling him closer until their chests are almost touching. "Yuuri Katsuki, I am in love with you and you only. You rouse my deepest desires and most feverish emotions; you command all of my affections. It is my utmost wish to spend the rest of our lives together; so much so that I can't even bear the thought of ever being apart from you. Oh Yuuri," he sighs, his free hand cupping Yuuri's cheek, "how blessed I am to be able to lay my eyes on your beautiful person every morning; my sweetest dreams are those in which you bestow upon me the privilege of your company. Words are insufficient to encompass the full spectrum of my adoration for you."

This is crazy. A dream. It has to be. He's lived with Victor for barely a year, but he's known him for years and he's never shown even a passing interest in Yuuri beyond their quickly developed friendship. And Yuuri's always been okay with that. He's never felt he was worth anything more. Not from Victor who is beautiful and kind and perfect and funny and smart. He's always been everything Yuuri ever wanted, like he was molded to all of Yuuri's dreams. That he's even allowed to be in his presence, to see him smile, to hear him call his name with those long vowels and the tilt of an accent at the end, is way more than he ever could've hoped for.

"V-Victor, wait!" he flails his arms, trying to push Victor away and make him stop his tirade of words dipped in honey, so sweet, so wonderful to his ears even as he tries to tell himself there has to be a reasonable explanation for this. "D-do you mean it?" he makes himself ask at last, heart clenched tight in his chest, because that's all that matters.

Victor is undeterred, his hand cupping Yuuri's chin; his gaze unwavering. "Of course I mean it! My Yuuri, I am ensnared by the chains of your love and I never want to be set free."

The words are so ridiculous Yuuri wants to bury himself in the ground. And yet, he can't help the bubbling happiness that surges in his chest. "This is really…" he stutters, his eyes stinging, "It's not a dream, right? This is really happening?" he asks in spite of himself, shivering from head to toe. Warmth spreads over his body at the sight of the unabashed adoration in Victor's eyes.

"If this is a dream, my darling, I shall never wish to wake up."

A voice nags at the back of his mind. _Something's off_ , it whispers. The blush on his cheeks is too pink, his pupils are dilated too wide, and he has a glow to him that's not a product of Yuuri's own romanticized vision of Victor. His heart insistently tells him to ignore all those signs because this is finally happening, Victor actually reciprocates his feelings, Victor _loves him_ and this should be the best moment of his life, the culmination of all his dreams, the start of his happily ever after.

Except he can't.

"Are… are you sure you're feeling okay? What happened with your headache?" Victor had complained about feeling a little dizzy when he came to wake Yuuri up earlier today, and Yuuri remembers telling him to take a pain-killer potion he'd finished brewing last night.

Victor blinks rapidly, but quickly regains his composure. "Just seeing you would cure me of any malady, my love." He grabs Yuuri's hand and kisses his knuckles reverently. Yuuri can almost taste his own heart when it jumps to the base of his throat. "The medicine you recommended was also very effective, and delicious. I don't think I've ever had such a tasty medicine, you truly are a gifted potion master, light of my life." He sighs dreamily, nuzzling the back of Yuuri's hand.

It takes Yuuri a moment to go over Victor's statement and make sense out of it through the heat burning under his skin. But once he does, the heat is instantly replaced by freezing panic.

"V-victor, which potion did you take?!"

Victor places his index finger on his chin, pensively. "It was on your work desk, in a blue vial. Beautiful, like everything that's yours."

Yuuri's heart crumbles.

"Victor, the blue vials are for my class demonstrations! I've told you a hundred times!" A tear spills down his cheek, and then another, and he chokes on a sob, extracting himself from Victor's embrace.

"I'm sorry Yuuri, my sweet love, I'm such a terrible, undeserving suitor for forgetting the words you preciously spoke to me. I wasn't thinking, my darling, the scent was just so good, so enticing, I couldn't resist it! What's wrong, my heart?"

 _What's wrong, he asks_ , Yuuri thinks bitterly, biting down on his lower lip to reign in the tears, every sugary word tasting like poison now. _What isn't wrong._

He was supposed to teach a special lecture today, so he'd brewed the featured potion – _Phillyax_ \- to show his students and left it to air overnight with his other medicines. And instead of the medicine for his headache, Victor had taken that potion.

A _love potion_.

How could he have been so careless? He knows Victor is forgetful, but he'd stayed up really late brewing and had been so sleepy when Victor came in the morning he'd completely forgotten to remind him about the vial colors.

"But Yuuri, I promise I'll be more careful and attentive, I'll prove I'm worthy of you, please my Yuuri; however poorly I'm demonstrating it, I swear I do love you."

 _No, you don't._

He bolts away, eyes fixed to the floor. "I have to go."

"Yuuri–!"

The dry slam of the door silences everything else.

* * *

So stupid. He feels so, so, so stupid. How could he possibly believe that Victor would love him? How horribly conceited. And the only thing he's achieved is hurting himself. He never imagined that hearing those words coming from Victor's mouth could be so painful, that he'd ever want to erase them from his memory. But every time they replay in his mind, it makes the ache of those ephemeral moments of hope and happiness grow sharper.

 _'Yuuri, I love you'_

He bumps into half a dozen people in his rush through the school before finally reaching his office, where he can slam the door shut and enjoy some much-needed solitude in which to allow his tears to run more freely. He thought there would always be that small edge of sadness to being close to Victor and knowing he'd never have his heart, but that dull ache is nothing compared to the piercing pain of having thought, even for an instant, that Victor might love him, only to realize it was all a lie.

The stack of papers and books on his desk remind him he's supposed to teach a class today. And he doesn't have the potion he was supposed to use. Because Victor drank it and it made him believe –what a foolish thing- that he was in love with Yuuri. Victor Nikiforov, the most gifted aerial skater –probably in history- and a condecorated coach and teacher, half-fae and connected by blood to the Faerie Royal Family, voted most desirable bachelor in Witchopolitan magazine five years in a row, in love with dime-a-dozen Katsuki Yuuri. Victor would probably laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, and even then, at his most thoughtlessly, inadvertently cruel, Yuuri would still love him.

"Yuuri?" A voice calls from the other side of the door. "Everything alright?"

He flicks his hand, casting a wordless spell to open the door, letting his best friend, Phichit Chulanont, inside, but doesn't respond to his question. He opts instead to bury himself under his desk, hoping by some miracle that all his worldly obligations disappear so he can stay holed up in here until the end of time.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Phichit insists, crouching under the desk next to him. "Did the headmaster scold you?"

Yuuri shakes his head, refusing to look up and meet his friend's eyes. He curls further into himself, hugging his knees and hiding his face in his arms.

"You know you can tell me anything." Phichit presses, scooting closer. "Or don't. I can just sit here with you until you feel better if you want."

It is quite often that Yuuri finds himself wondering what he ever did to deserve a friend as kind and understanding as Phichit. He flicks his hand again to close the door and lock it, making sure no one can overhear their conversation.

"Victor drank Phillyax this morning."

He can almost hear the sound of Phichit's jaw hitting the floor.

"But Yuuri, that is—"

"I know."

"But did you…?"

Yuuri flinches, horrified by the mere suggestion. "No, of course not! I would _never_ do that!"

Love potions are among the most selfish and deplorable things that can come out of a sorcerer's cauldron. They cloud the drinker's mind and judgment, bend their thoughts and feelings, subdue their will and make them say everything the brewer wants to hear. The whole point of his lecture was never to teach his students how to brew it –it's forbidden after all, and for good reason- but to show them how to identify it by its smell and appearance, and how to counteract its effects. It's not a common part of a magical school's curriculum, but Yuuri's always thought it important to teach this kind of lesson to young sorcerers, so this year he'd made his case in front of the school board and gotten their approval to include it in his classes.

And now he's paying the consequences of defying that status quo.

"It was for class. Victor drank it by mistake. And now he keeps saying he l-lov—" He whimpers and starts crying again. He can't even say it. His heart squeezes hard in his chest. It's so hard to breathe.

"Oh, Yuuri…"

"I'm such an idiot, I actually believed it for a moment… Before I knew he'd taken the potion, I thought… how stupid." He sobs, angrily rubbing his eyes with his hands to wipe the tears away.

Phichit squeezes his arm gently. "It's not stupid. Honestly, if Nikiforov hasn't fallen in love yet after living together all these months living together, _he's_ the idiot."

Yuuri appreciates the sentiment, even if he knows Phichit's being overly kind on account of their longtime friendship. Doesn't make him feel any better, though.

"Did you give him the antidote yet?"

That gets Yuuri out of his downward spiral.

"Antidote?" he parrots before his brain can catch up with what Phichit is asking.

"Well, if I know you -and I think I do- you wouldn't give a class for a potion you didn't have an antidote for. You should probably give him that before this gets more complicated."

Yuuri bolts upwards so suddenly he slams his head against the desk he was hiding under, and rushes towards his potion cabinet, furiously rubbing the sore spot right on the crown of his head. He'd been so busy feeling sorry for himself, he'd completely forgotten that there was an easy solution for the problem. It was terribly irresponsible to just leave Victor like that without giving him the antidote. He slams the cabinet door open and rummages through his large collection of vials: blue for class, green for medicine, black for antidotes –poisons and other dangerous potions are kept at a different location, under heavy security measures. Finally, he finds the black vial labeled " _Panacea_ ", a potion of his own invention that can largely mitigate the effects of any other potion, drug or poison. Relieved, he retrieves the vial from the shelf, but the moment he feels its weight in his hand, his relief dissolves into dust.

"It's empty," he whines miserably.

"What do you mean 'it's empty'? Yuuri, you never run out of your omnipotent antidote!"

Yuuri shakes the vial, watching the last few drops of the potion swirl inside the crystal. This amount would suffice for a simpler joke potion, but not for _Phillyax_. "There was that incident three days ago, remember? When a fifth grader mixed a laxative potion with the water during lunchtime?" Phichit nods, the dismay in his face proof that he remembers the nightmare of over fifty students trying to make it to the restrooms, trampling over each other like furious trolls. "They didn't have enough antidote in the infirmary so I had to give them mine, too. It was so chaotic I completely forgot to make more."

"But you _can_ make more now, can't you?"

With his shoulders slouched, Yuuri shakes his head. " _Panacea_ is a very complex potion, it can take up to a month to brew, and I don't even have all the ingredients with me." If today's disaster doesn't ruin his life forever, maybe he'll remember to get in touch with Minako-sensei to resupply his ingredients cabinet.

"What about an anti-Phillyax potion? If you were gonna use it for class, surely you made some of that too, right? You always take measures for the worst possible scenarios."

Yuuri knows Phichit is trying to help, but the more he talks, the more Yuuri despairs as every option he doesn't have is emphasized on.

"I can't use that, not on Victor," he mutters, grabbing a fistful of his own hair in frustration. "That potion contains pure iron, mined by the mountain dwarves. Victor is half-fae, iron could kill him."

It is well known that Faefolk are weak to pure iron; just touching it burns their skin and it can temporarily deprive them of all of their magic. Ever since Victor moved into Yuuri's apartment, he's had to change most of his kitchen appliances and tools to make sure there was no iron left that could accidentally harm Victor. There are horrid stories from the Middle Ages about humans poisoning faeries with iron and Yuuri doesn't even want to think of what could happen if Victor were to drink it, even if the amount required for the antidote was minimal.

Phichit sighs. "W-well, it was a potion for class, right? Its effects shouldn't last long."

"I guess," Yuuri agrees, still dispirited. He always makes it so the potions he brews for class are less potent and have a shorter effectivity time than what a normal potion would have. A regular dose of _Phillyax_ could last from 12 to 24 hours, but Yuuri had adjusted his so the effects would be mostly dissipated an hour or two after consumption. Not that he intended to let the students drink it but, like Phichit said, he always tries to take measures for the worst possible scenario. Of course, he never imagined that the worst possible scenario would be Victor saying he loved him due to the effects of a potion.

With no usable antidote, the best he can hope for now is staying clear from Victor until lunchtime; then maybe by the end of the day this whole incident will be forgotten.

"Yuuri! Yuuri, my heart, please open the door."

Of course, luck has never quite been on his side.

"Victor, not now, _please,_ " he begs, his voice thin.

"Forgive me, my dearest love, it is not my intent to upset you, but I'm _consumed_ by regret. I wronged you when I failed to follow your instructions and I wish to compensate you by any means, to prove that my love is sincere and that I shall make no such mistake ever again. Please, light of my life, just say the word and I'll do anything you ask of me."

Momentarily, Yuuri's treacherous heart skips a beat, the words too tempting, Victor's voice dripping with an affection Yuuri has always longed for. But is this really what he's always wanted to hear? Has he dreamed of Victor proclaiming his love in such overblown, melodramatic declarations? He knows Victor has a knack for theatrics, but it wasn't those exaggerations that made Yuuri love him. More than anything, he relishes in Victor's smaller gestures, the childish voice he uses with Makkachin, his rare thoughtfulness, his sweet, silly, heart-shaped smiles and his moments of quiet vulnerability, the side of him he never exposes to the public eye because it doesn't match the extravagance of the world's most coveted bachelor, nor the elegance of a faerie prince. Victor is a multi-faceted man and Yuuri loves every part of him individually, but he loves the sum of them above all because they make him real, imperfect and human.

But this Victor isn't real, his words of love aren't sincere. It's all a fabrication of the worst magic ever created; a falsehood that is made even more painful by the knowledge that it will never come true.

Yuuri clenches his eyes shut, hoping to swallow the tears as he dashes out of the room.

"I have a class!" he sputters as he pushes past Victor and disappears down the hallway.

* * *

The classroom is packed when Yuuri arrives –an unusual occurrence, he's normally the first to get there, and the classroom is never this full-. When the students notice his presence, they beam, notoriously excited.

"Oi, Katsudon!" first year student Yuri Plisetsky –affectionately nicknamed Yurio by Victor- barks from the back of the classroom. Yuuri flinches and some of the students giggle. "Are you going to teach us about Phillyax today or what?"

The entire class seems to buzz when the potion is mentioned. Yuuri bites his lip.

"Uhm… that was the plan but…" he hates disappointing his students, but perhaps today's incident was a sign that this whole thing was never a good idea. "There were a few issues with the potion so I've decided to take it off the program."

The disappointed whine is almost deafening, with Yurio's "What the fuck?" standing out over the other voices. Yuuri looks down at the wooden boards. He's such a failure as a teacher, it's a wonder how he's kept his job for so long.

* * *

Yuuri drags himself to the dining room and plops down next to Phichit without saying a word. His friend looks at him questioningly, but Yuuri shakes his head. He doesn't feel like talking right now. His only concern is getting through his meal as quickly as possible so he won't run into Victor. He doesn't even want to imagine what Victor will say now that the effects of the potion have faded away. What if he thinks Yuuri set things up so he would drink the potion? It seems impossible that their friendship won't be ruined for good after this.

His thoughts are abruptly interrupted by the bowl that materializes in front of him, emitting an uncannily familiar scent. His eyes widen when he recognizes the dish sitting right in front of his eyes.

"Katsudon?"

He looks around, wondering where it may have come from. All the other teachers on the table have received the regularly scheduled Thursday menu. Briefly, he wonders if his mother had decided to sneak into the school for no reason at all. He wouldn't quite put it past her, but it still seems very unlikely.

He takes a closer look at his bowl, confused. Then he notices the red design –ketchup, most likely- outlining a curvaceous heart on top of the breaded pork. That's definitely not from his mother. Maybe someone is trying to poison him, and is using his favorite food hoping he will fall for it easily. Or maybe it's a prank.

"Yuuri! Do you like my surprise?"

Yuuri almost jumps out of his chair. He glances up, heart pounding, to the man standing on the other side of the table, right in front of him. It can't be…

"Victor? What… what is this?"

Victor beams, cheeks flushed in beautiful pink, his silver hair littering faerie dust when he bounces on his tiptoes. Under any other circumstance, Yuuri would find this lovely, but now…

"It's an apology! I asked the kitchen staff to let me cook for you, to make up for upsetting you this morning. It's my first time trying to cook katsudon, but I hope the secret ingredient will make it delicious for you." Victor says, still smiling, eyes sparkling with excitement.

"What secret ingredient?" Yuuri asks, and immediately regrets it.

"My undying love for you, of course, my darling!" Victor declares, suddenly hovering a few inches above the floor and twirling in the air, punctuating it with a wink before landing back on the ground.

Yuuri's heart drops.

 _It's not possible._

"Why hasn't the effect worn off?" he asks out loud without thinking, turning his gaze to the floor in absolute despair. It's been more than four hours, the potion shouldn't have lasted this long. Did he mess up the brewing process?

"What hasn't worn off, love of my life?" Victor asks, his voice warm and gentle.

Yuuri feels sick. Some teachers have turned their heads towards him. What if they realize? What if _they_ think Yuuri gave Victor the _Phillyax_ on purpose? It's not like his infatuation is a secret to anyone, it wouldn't be hard to assume. He'll lose his job and go to jail. And if the potion never wears off? How badly did he mess it up? What if the antidotes don't work either? It would ruin Victor's life.

"Yuuri, my sweet love, what's wrong?"

Every word Victor says seems like a cruel reminder that it's not real, that it will _never_ be real.

When he looks up, he finds Victor leaning closer to him, his eyes dripping with worry, a pale hand reaching to touch his face. Yuuri snaps and pulls back, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes.

"I-I'm… I'm feeling a little sick, I'm sorry, I don't have any appetite. I have… I have to go."

And just like earlier today, he dashes out of the room, trying to shut down the whispers and voices and Victor calling out for him, and ignoring the sinking weight in his chest.

* * *

Predictably, the students from the afternoon class are as disappointed as the morning class when Yuuri tells them they won't be studying _Phillyax_ anymore. His conviction is even stronger now after the incident in the dining room; if he'd used that failed potion in class, only god knows what could have happened. What was he thinking, really, exposing his students to something so dangerous?

He goes back to a topic about antidotes, but he can tell from their expressions that they're not interested. Only a few of them seem to be paying attention to their cauldrons and none are taking any notes. One of the kids in the back is adding ingredients that are obviously not part of the potion they should be brewing –judging by the mushrooms on his desk, he's probably going for an anti-acne potion.- As a teacher, theoretically, he should stop him, but he's too downtrodden to even try.

He's about to tell the students they can leave early. It's not like they're going to retain any of the information he's trying to give them with the current mood, and he's too distracted worrying about when the effect of the _Phillyax_ Victor drank might wear off, so he's not focused enough to give a proper class. But just as he stops stirring his cauldron, a gust of wind comes through the window and the sound of fluttery windchimes inundates the spacious classroom. Yuuri looks up to see a tiny silver creature zooming around the room, its eyes big and dark, its body lean and humanoid, barely the size of a mouse, sparkles sprinkling from the iridescent wings on its backs.

 _A pixie._

Before he can even wonder why such a creature is in his classroom of all places, the pixie stops its random zooming and hovers in the air in the middle of the room.

"Lord Yuuri Katsuki?" It asks, addressing the students with a high-pitched voice.

"That-that would be me," Yuuri says without thinking.

The pixie looks at him and nods, then claps its hands and another gust of wind carrying the sound of bells breaks into the classroom, four more pixies buzzing inside. All of them together are carrying something that is much larger than their bodies, but Yuuri can't make out what it is before they're already on top of his head and dropping whatever it is on him. He doesn't even react fast enough to duck away.

Unexpectedly, what lands on his head doesn't harm him. In fact, he hardly feels its weight at all. He raises his hands to touch it, noticing the students' gasps and giggles. Before they can reach the object, the first pixy holds a mirror in front of him. A crown of dark blue and purple flowers interweaved with vines full of small white blossoms sits on top of his head. He blushes at the sight and takes the crown off his head to examine it closely.

"These are midnight ink lilies," he observes, more to himself than the pixie hovering in front of him.

He touches the dark colored petals and observes with disbelief the inklike smudges they leave on his fingers. These flowers are extremely hard to come by, only blooming under very specific conditions in remote, dangerous areas of the planet, impossible to recreate in a greenhouse. They have multiple uses for potions and medicines, but there aren't many people who have the skills to find it and collect it.

"His Highness, the Prince, was certain that Lord Yuuri Katsuki desired them. He hopes this present will help compensate for his imprudence of today and promises to be more mindful so as to not overwhelm Lord Yuuri Katsuki with his inflamed devotion."

Students squeal and giggle even louder. Yuuri feels himself burn from head to toe. He had once told Victor that he would love to get his hands on these flowers to try and tweak his _Panacea_ antidote, but he didn't think Victor had been paying attention. It's the kind of random thoughtful gesture that makes Yuuri's heart ache. The ache becomes sharper when he is reminded once again that none of this is real, and that Victor didn't do this out of genuine concern or thoughtfulness, but simply a stupid potion making him think he loves Yuuri, and pushing him to do whatever it takes to prove that love, even though it never existed. And then there's also the implication; that two more hours have passed and the potion shows no signs of wearing off.

"W-with all due respect, you are interrupting the class. I must kindly ask you to leave" Yuuri says, at a loss for what else to do, clutching the crown of flowers to his chest. "Thank you," he adds, hoping not to spite them with his reticence, "Tell your Prince that… I appreciate the thought." Even if he wishes these flowers had never been sent to him, it would be unwise to antagonize the faefolk.

The pixies nod and zoom out the window from where they first came. The students stare at him with wide eyes and knowing smiles and Yuuri hopes the ground will swallow him up. A part of him knows he should discard the crown of flowers, for his emotional well-being if nothing else, but even as he thinks about it, his fingers curl tighter around the vines.

 _Victor remembered._

At last, Yuuri puts the crown away, carefully wrapping it with a piece of cloth to place it in his ingredient cabinet. He tells himself he's only keeping it for the advancement of his research. The dark, inky splotches on his palms remind him that he's lying to himself.

* * *

Yuuri holes himself in his office for hours, skimming through all the books he has on _Phylliax_ , and digging through the magical network for any recent articles or research results, desperately trying to figure out what may have gone wrong with his potion and how to fix it, but comes up empty. That it also helps him avoid Victor is only a happy coincidence. Eventually, though, the night guard knocks on his door to say he's shutting the lights down and locking the main gate and "would you mind letting me do my job." He's forced to leave without any answer, and dreading what will happen if he doesn't come up with a solution tonight.

By the time he reaches his apartment, all he wishes is to go to sleep and never wake up again. He walks through the door as quietly as possible, hoping Victor will have followed his usual routine of going to bed early ("staying up so late is bad for your health, Yuuri!"). If he's lucky, he might be able to make it to his bedroom without having to encounter Victor and get smacked in the face with his false words of love yet again. And then, hopefully, the potion will have faded away by morning.

That minimal hope shatters the moment he shuts the door of the apartment.

"Yuuri, my love! Welcome home!"

It's all Yuuri can do to keep himself from crying for the umpteenth time today.

"Victor," he replies, breathless, "Why are you up so late?"

"I could not possibly go to bed without seeing your beloved face once more! How could I hope for beautiful dreams if I don't see the most beautiful dream-come-true before I fall asleep?"

Yuuri's starting to get the sinking feeling that, rather than wearing off, the effects of the accursed potion are getting stronger. Has Victor ever looked at anyone with such unrestrained adoration in his eyes, he wonders?

"Did you like my present, _zolotse_?"

He's using Russian endearments now. Yuuri's never heard him use those, ever, at all. Not even with Makkachin. He knows them because Victor explained them to him, trying to make a point about how romantic the Russian language could be before gruelling Yuuri with questions about whether he had anyone worthy of receiving such petnames. Yuuri still doesn't quite understand what that was about.

"It was… very thoughtful. Thank you," he mutters, biting his lower lip.

"I remembered that you told me how hard you were trying to find some of those flowers for your _Panacea_. You're so amazing, so dedicated to your work…" he grabs Yuuri's hand in both of his, squeezing it tightly, and Yuuri stands frozen in place, his heart banging against his ribcage. "I thought I could show you that I listen to what you say, _solnyshko_. I treasure every single word you speak to me and I'm really sorry about my mistake this morning. I can tell it has upset you greatly and I can never forgive myself for it." His thumbs stroke the back of Yuuri's hand gently, his skin smooth and soft. There's that crinkle in the corners of his eyes, his head tipped slightly to the side, and Yuuri ponders on how he'd always dreamed that Victor would look at him like this, and how now he wishes he could forget what it feels like. "My devotion to you is as true as the morning dew and I swear that I shall never give you cause to doubt it again, light of my life."

Yuuri's eyes sting red hot, his heart beating so hard and hurting so much it feels like it might tear his chest open at any moment. It is so unfair, that Victor can voice his false feelings so eloquently, so beautifully, the affection in his voice so sincere it made him forget –for a split second- where those words were coming from. And Victor is standing so close now, holding Yuuri's hand against his chest, his warm breath tickling Yuuri's face. And Yuuri feels that his heart might actually physically shatter if he keeps listening to him.

"My Yuuri… my love, this might be too precipitous but I have no doubt in my heart that I wish to spend the rest of my days on this Earth with you. Is it perhaps too self-serving to hope you might share my wish, beloved? If you would give me the chance, I'd dedicate every day of the rest of my life bringing you the utmost happiness that you so deserve. Would you, Yuuri? Will you marry me?"

And indeed, it shatters.

Just like that, Yuuri pulls away sharply, tears running down his face; the hand Victor held stinging like it's on fire. He pants heavily, feeling more and more breathless with every inhale, blood thrumming in his veins.

"Yuuri? My l-"

"Leave me alone, Victor!"

There is a moment of stunned silence in which Victor stares at him, his eyes wide.

Yuuri chokes on a sob and remembers how to use his legs just enough to dash into his bedroom and lock himself inside, collapsing against the door the moment the lock clicks into place. He hears Makkachin scratch at the other side of the door and whine, but for once, he pays him no mind, curling into himself to cry until sleep takes over.

 **To be continued**

This was originally posted for Victuuri week, Day 3: Longing

Though if I'm honest, I always approach these events the wrong way, first I have an idea, then I try to force it to fit into any of the chosen prompts orz

As always, I finished this very girigiri. Really need to organize my writing schedule.

Ideally I would've liked to have part 2 ready, but i'm like 2/3 done. This has been sitting on my WIP folder since like, July, but victuuri week gave me the extra push to finish it. I hope you like it, please let me know your thoughts, I had a lot of fun writing Victor's awfully cheesy lines.


	2. Part II

Victor wakes up with the worst headache of his life. The moment he opens his eyes, the room spins around him and he feels like throwing up. He's completely disoriented, and, for a full ten seconds, he can't even tell where he is. When he manages to focus his vision he realizes it's his own bedroom; he just can't remember how he got here to begin with. What on Earth did he do yest—

" _Yuuri, I love you!"_

 _Oh no._

On the bright side, he's so horrified he completely forgets about his headache.

On the not-so-bright side, he confessed his feelings to Yuuri in the worst possible way.

" _Leave me alone, Victor!"_

And he was rejected.

Rejected.

By Yuuri.

Yuuri doesn't love him.

* * *

It is unusual to find Yuuri awake so early in the morning. They've always been polar opposites in that regard. Yuuri's a night owl, capable of staying up till very late at night brewing his potions or playing videogames, but come morning it takes five very loud alarms to get him out of bed, whereas Victor can hardly stay awake past ten at night, but rises with the sun every morning.

"Yuuri?" he asks, tentatively, his voice thin. Yuuri's body goes stiff for a moment. He looks lovely, even from behind and wearing his poodle-patterned pajamas, doing something as mundane as swirling his wand over the coffee beans to grind them.

"Good morning, Victor."

Victor's heart hurts just from how dry his voice sounds, like he doesn't even want to talk to him at all. Better get this over with soon.

"I'm… I'm really sorry about yesterday, I didn't…" he's always thought himself quite adept with words, but for some reason they seem to be failing him now.

"No, it's fine, it's not your fault, I was very careless too. Just… remember not to take the blue vials? Luckily, it wasn't a lesson on poisons this time around." He chuckles lightly, but it's not sincere. He's not even looking at Victor.

"Yeah I'll… I'll remember that." He's not sure if Yuuri's willfully ignoring the true reason for his apology, but he decides not to press the matter.

When he looks around, he finds a disarray of things and a large colorful box –probably enchanted– filled with items, all of which he recognizes as Yuuri's.

"Yuuri? What is all this?"

Yuuri looks up from the coffee pot, still stirring with his wand. "Oh, sorry for the short notice. I'm moving out tonight."

Victor can feel something heavy and cold drop inside him "What? Why?!" his mind rushes. "Y-you don't have to move out! It was you who gave me your spare room when I transferred here and the school didn't have any staff dormitories open. I-I guess I overstayed my welcome by a few months, huh?" He tries to laugh, but it sounds more like a broken hiccup "If you don't want me around anymore I should be the one moving out." His chest burns when he speaks the words. Perhaps he'd hoped, for the shortest split-second, that there was a way to leave yesterday's slip behind and salvage their friendship. Clearly Yuuri didn't feel that way and Victor couldn't fault him for that.

"It's alright, Victor. My parents have been wanting me to move back in with them for some time. It's a longer commute, but it's doable. This apartment is already furbished for you, it would be too troublesome to find a new place and then get rid of all the iron, right?"

That's not the point. That's not the point at all.

"But Yuuri—"

"You should get going, your first class starts soon."

* * *

Victor isn't quite sure of how, but he finds himself in the schoolyard, standing in front of his students and completely at a loss, his mind still going over his conversation with Yuuri again and again.

"Oi, old man! Aren't you gonna teach us the quad flip?!" Yurio barks, snapping Victor out of his contemplations.

"Right! Right…" He stares at the grass under his naked feet and remembers that time Yuuri came running through the yard in the middle of his class, screeching about how he was late to a board meeting, and he'd been wearing that one ugly necktie he refuses to part with, his hair slicked back like it always is when he goes to formal events, but he was still wearing his glasses and he looked so devastatingly beautiful Victor almost tripped in the air mid-demonstration. Yuuri has always had a talent for making Victor lose concentration. "Yes, the quadruple flip, a very difficult kind of jump. You kids shouldn't be attempting it yet, it could be dangerous."

Yurio groans in annoyance.

Victor crosses his feet, knocking the front of the right foot with the heel of the left and immediately losing the ground where he was standing. His body feels heavy and sluggish, and there's still echoes of his morning headache pounding in the back of his head.

It occurs to him, once he's a good ten feet in the air and launches himself into the jump, that he didn't really do any warm-up and this might be a terrible idea.

" _Leave me alone, Victor!"_

It also occurs to him that Yuuri hates him now, so it's not like it matters anyway.

Something goes terribly wrong before he can complete the fourth rotation and he feels his stomach turn upside down, the wind buzzing in his ears, his limbs flailing without achieving anything, and someone screams in the distance.

 _Oh._

 _I'm falling._

What a bizarre feeling.

His fall is broken bare inches before he hits the ground. He blinks, puzzled, before the spell that's keeping him hovering above the grass vanishes and drops him with a dull thud.

"What the fuck, Victor?" Yurio hollers, tucking away his wand. "Next time I'll let you fall and die, dumbass!"

Victor pays him no mind, too preoccupied trying to get himself back on his feet, with only moderate success thanks to his wobbly legs, his mind still not completely caught up with the idea that he just fell mid-flight.

"I was just…" he stretches and curls his fingers, too confused. "T-testing you. Your reactions! And that you're keeping up with your Spells classes! Very important!" he replies, trying to fake a laugh that comes out more like a pathetic wheeze.

Yurio looks like he wants to say something else, but he huffs and steps back to join the crowd of students, who all sigh in relief.

"Maybe it's better if we go back to where we left off yesterday. I want everyone practicing their spins, let's take it easy, yes?" He claps his hands, trying to regain control of himself. The students line up and take positions, adjusting their protective gear while they recite incantations. Humans need to do that to fly. Not Victor, though. Born and raised among faefolk, he could fly before ever learning how to walk. It's always been a part of him, as effortless as breathing.

He crosses his feet one more time, his stomach twisting and his chest heavy. Once again, he knocks the front of his right foot with the heel of his left.

The students gasp and giggle as they rise in the air, like this will never get old for them.

Victor's feet are still on the ground.

He blinks, confused. He strikes his feet together again.

Nothing happens.

Victor closes his eyes, lets a little faerie dust drop from his fingers and focuses entirely on that instant, that spark of magic, visualizing the feeling of no longer having grass and dirt under his bare feet.

He strikes again.

The grass is cold and wet, tickling the soils of his feet

"Oi, old man, the fuck are you waiting for?!"

There's _still_ grass under his feet.

* * *

Yuuri tumbles through his morning classes and makes a complete fool of himself repeatedly, to the point he has a cauldron blow up on him. It was lucky they weren't doing anything with flammable ingredients. He doesn't even want to think of what could've happened if this had been a lesson on firebreath.

He has yet to call his mom to tell her he's abruptly coming back home until he picks himself back up. Maybe finding a different job wouldn't be a terrible idea either. Maybe something as ambitious as teaching was always too far out of his league. He'll just add this to the long list of failures in his life and find something else.

Exhausted and not even bothering to change out of his slightly charred robes, he drags himself to the dining room, eats his meal with little enthusiasm (sighing with relief when a regular plate with meat and vegetables materializes in front of him with no messages written in ketchup) and then immediately heads out without talking to anyone, hoping to hide in his office and avoid Victor at all costs. He feels too guilty to even look him in the eye.

"Hey, have you heard? Aerial Sports classes are canceled until further notice."

Yuuri stops dead on his tracks and his eyes find a group of fourth year students leaning against the wall outside of the Spellcasting classroom.

"Seriously? And I was so looking forward to it; yesterday's class was amazing." One of them whines. Yuuri isn't close enough to recognize their faces.

"The third graders had the class in the morning, they say Professor Nikiforov couldn't fly."

Yuuri's heart stops beating.

"Eh? But how is that possible?"

The tallest of the group leans in closer, covering his mouth with his hand. Yuuri doesn't even think twice as he walks a little closer to catch what they're saying.

"He's half fae, remember? They say a fae with a broken heart will lose their wings."

"What? But after yesterday I thought… does that mean-?

"Hush!"

The students turn to look at him and gasp before scurrying away. Yuuri doesn't even notice.

 _A fae with a broken heart will lose their wings._

What is that supposed to mean?

* * *

Victor has never been the kind to spend much time inside his office. He has one because every teacher gets one, but small, enclosed spaces and faefolk have never been particularly compatible. He's always felt more at ease knowing that there are no limits but the sky. He even had part of the roof replaced with a magical dome that vanishes when Victor flies –pretty much all of his first three paychecks went into it-. But today, all he wants is to crawl into a dark corner and be left alone, escape from the skies he can't reach anymore.

"The word's all over the school my friend. That your wings are withering."

Victor doesn't even bother looking up. "I don't have wings. Only pureblood fae do." Not that the technicality means anything when he still can't fly at all. Apparently having mixed blood means he gets random attributes from either side, with no logic to it whatsoever. "I fucked it up. Everything."

Chris prances into the room and shuts the door behind his back. "Oh, did you? You looked pretty happy yesterday."

He's so not in the mood for Chris's teasing right now. "I drank one of Yuuri's potions by mistake and it… made me say all those things without thinking."

"But it was the truth, wasn't it?"

"Well, duh, that is the whole point of it." He sighs miserably.

"So what's the issue?" Chris insists, sitting on top of his desk, palms flat against the wooden surface.

Victor chews on his lower lip and swallows a rogue tear prickling the corner of his eye.

"Yuuri didn't want to hear it."

* * *

Yuuri's been wandering for a while, his initial goal of hiding away and avoiding Victor forgotten. He's been going over the conversation he overheard, spliced with everything that has happened since yesterday, incapable of putting together the pieces and understand what exactly is going on. There's something he's missing, something crucial that could bring some sense into all of this, but no matter how hard he thinks about it, he can't figure it out.

"Professor Katsuki!"

His disarrayed thoughts are brought to a halt by the voice of a fifth year student who stands on his way. Yuuri shakes his head, forcing himself to focus on the world outside the confusion within his mind.

"What can I do for you, Ryoumi-san?"

She looks away, hesitant, clenching and unclenching her fists, fidgeting where she stands. Yuuri waits in silence. He can tell that whatever she has to say, it's important. Even if he fails at every other aspect of being a teacher, at the very least he wants his students to know they can trust him.

"I heard from a friend in a different class… is it true you've decided not to give the class on Phillyax? At all?"

Yuuri swallows. Of course his failings continue to haunt him.

"I'm afraid so. After having problems with the potion, I realized it was too risky to bring it to the classroom. It's a very volatile substance that can do a lot of damage; as a teacher it is my duty to keep from exposing the students to something so dangerous," he explains, finding himself sharing the disappointment. He'd fought so hard to get that class approved by the board and had been looking forward to it for a long time. Of course he'd had to ruin it all at the last minute.

"Oh, I see… I understand…" she mutters, lowering her gaze, her eyes hidden by her dark bangs, her fingers curling tightly over the edges of her sleeves. She looks completely distraught and Yuuri doesn't know what to do about it.

"Is there anything I can help you with?" he asks, overly aware of keeping his voice leveled, hoping not to upset her more than she already is.

"N-no, I…" she inhales sharply and shakes her head furiously. "I really wanted… to learn about that." She takes a step back and keeps shaking her head. "A friend of mine, she—" Her voice is cut off by a sob.

Yuuri doesn't need her to finish to understand. His heart clenches.

"I'm really sorry to hear that," he mutters clumsily, reaching into his pocket for a tissue. "I—"

"No one teaches us about it!" She snaps suddenly, rubbing her eyes with her palms "If people knew how it's actually like and how to fight it back, maybe those things wouldn't happen anymore! But no one ever says anything! No one wants to talk about those uncomfortable things. I thought… I thought this class would be different, that maybe things were starting to change, but it's all the same!" she wails.

She doesn't physically hit him, but it still feels like a slap.

How could he have forgotten?

"Ryoumi-san?"

She flinches and finally looks up at him. Her eyes are puffy and red, but her face shows the strength of her determination.

"Thank you… for being so honest with me, I appreciate it. You have helped me remember something very important."

In his self-deprecating haste, he'd completely overlooked the reason he'd wanted to do this in the first.

Why did he ever decide to become a teacher?

"I want to make a difference."

* * *

"Well, that does sound quite… disastrous."

Victor groans and buries his face in his palms.

"You're not helping. At all."

Chris sighs and sits on the wide chair across his desk. "But are you absolutely sure that his reaction wasn't just out of annoyance? Our Yuuri is very reserved, maybe he was just tired of you screaming your ridiculous confessions for the whole world to hear. You know public love confessions are rarely a good idea." He crosses his legs and taps his chin thoughtfully. "I'm sure my darling wouldn't have accepted my marriage proposal if I had made a spectacle of it."

"I didn't make a spectacle of it!" Victor protests, indignant, slamming his palm on the wooden desk. "Not… not the… p-proposal, oh god. I actually proposed." He still hasn't fully processed just how abhorrently embarrassing and stupid he had been yesterday and every time he remembers, it hits him like a blasting curse.

"And you didn't even have a ring." Chris clicks his tongue in playful disapproval. Victor wants to throw him out the window. "But tell me, how is it? To be under the effects of _that_ potion?" he asks, leaning forward with interest.

Victor chews on his lower lip. "Weirdly pleasant? I always imagined it would be horrible, but I… I was so happy." He remembers the butterflies constantly fluttering in his belly and how the world became instantly brighter and more beautiful every time he saw Yuuri. How just the thought of him made him incapable of holding back his feelings, like his heart wanted nothing but to share the joy of his love with the whole wide world. Even if a part of his mind –one he should've listened to- had been constantly screaming at him that what he was doing was a terrible idea, at every moment he could feel nothing but excitement, like an overdose of happiness potion that activated at the mere thought of Yuuri.

And he also remembers how abruptly everything had turned cold and grey when Yuuri rejected him. The corners of his eyes sting.

"Look, I'm just saying, everything was very weird and out of nowhere; you shouldn't just assume he totally hates you. This is Yuuri we're talking about, he probably needs some time and space to think it through. Try talking to him tonight, I'm sure he'll be more receptive once he's had time to process it all. If he still seems too rattled, tell him you want to talk about it, but that you'll wait for him to be ready. Remember, Yuuri needs to be reassured that people understand him and care for him."

Victor stares at his hands and swallows the tears. Chris is right, he needs to give Yuuri space.

"I just… I don't want it to be over."

Chris smiles sympathetically and squeezes his shoulder.

"I'm sure it won't be."

Victor desperately hopes that he's right.

* * *

Yuuri almost crashes against a wall trying to stop dead on his tracks when he spots the blond head of hair he's been looking for.

"Yurio, have you seen Victor?"

After talking with Ryoumi-san and going over the conversation he'd overheard a dozen times, he's decided the best course of action is to actually find Victor, but he's gone to the gardens, the fields, and all of Victor's favorite open spaces, even asked the Botanics teacher if Victor hadn't come around to her garden to contemplate the flowers –being half-fae, he's always had a special affection for flowers- but there's been no luck.

"Hah? Why would I know where he is?"

Yuuri bites his bottom lip. "Well you…"

"What, you think that because I'm also faefolk I know where he is at all times? Do you have a telepathic connection with every pig in the world?" he snarls, hands on his hips.

Yuuri reckons this wasn't his best idea, but he was also running out of better ones.

"I'm sorry, I just… I heard he can't fly and I'm—"

"And whose fault do you think that is?"

Yuuri freezes completely. The whirlwind of confusion that has taken over his mind today roars and turns everything upside down.

"Eh? W-what does that mean?"

Yurio's eyes widen. He facepalms and curses under his breath, shaking his head with evident frustration. "You know what, this has nothing to do with me and I'm too busy to be taking care of you stupid adults, so fuck off," he snaps, turning his back to Yuuri.

He's in too much of a daze to even think of moving. But he does notice that, instead of walking away, Yurio stays put in the same spot, fishing in his pocket. Yuuri, incapable of reacting, watches as he pulls his phone out of his jacket and places it by his ear.

"Beka? Your class got cancelled too?" He pauses for a moment. "Yeah, I had it in the morning it was a mess. Old man couldn't even fly! Pathetic." He flails his arm for emphasis, even if the other person isn't there to see it. "I thought it could never get worse than his regular classes, you know how he's always saying his corny lovey-dovey routines are inspired by that dumbass Katsudon, which is gross, but seeing him sulk like a loser all morning's definitely worse. At least when he was being a lovesick idiot he was teaching something!" There's another short pause. "He's so pathetic I heard he's holed up in his office, like a total loser." He then turns around to glance at Yuuri, his scowl deepens. "Oi, are you eavesdropping on my _private_ conversation? What are you, a creep? Get lost!"

Yuuri snaps out of his trance and scurries away with a squeak, dizzy and confused as Yurio's words replay in his mind over and over.

 _Whose fault do you think that is?_

* * *

"I never took you for such a terrible actor."

Yuri jolts and turns around to find Otabek walking out from the nearby Conjuring classroom.

He forces a shrug to look disinterested. "Katsudon is dumb enough to fall for it." He says, putting away his phone. It's been out of battery for three hours, but the other Yuuri didn't need to know that. "Besides, nothing I said was false."

Otabek raises an eyebrow. "Have you heard the rumors though? Some people are saying Katsuki gave Nikiforov a dose of Phillyax yesterday and that's why he canceled the class about it."

"What?!" Yuri snarls, incredulous. "That's the stupidest thing I've heard. Did you see Victor yesterday? He was the same as always! Utterly gross!" Yuri can't even fathom where this idiotic rumor could've started. For as long as Victor has been teaching in this school, his Aerial sports classes had always been plagued with gross sighing and endless babbling about his shameless adoration of Yuuri Katsuki, and whenever he made any demonstrations of his skills as a winged gymnast, he'd always wax poetic about all the lovesick symbolisms in his performances. It made Yuri want to puke. "And Katsudon would never do something so shitty. He's stupid, not an asshole." He concludes, sinking his hands in his pockets. Absolutely nothing about this whole thing makes a lick of sense.

"I guess you're right." Otabek shrugs. After a short moment of silence, he adds "I also never expected to see you playing matchmaker."

Yuri chokes and almost trips over his own feet, even though they're not walking. "I-I'm NOT!" he blabbers, his face burning. "It's just inconvenient to me that Victor is useless! The sooner this stupid bullshit is fixed, the sooner he can train me for my senior debut!"

Otabek hums but doesn't say anything. Yuri has the distinct feeling he doesn't believe his excuse, but he appreciates that there are no further questions.

* * *

There is a soft, hesitant knock on the door. Probably the headmistress, Victor thinks, here to fire him either for being useless now that he can't fly, or for harassing a coworker. Or both. He'll have to leave the apartment and go back to Russia and never see Yuuri again. Yuuri would probably be fine with that.

"Come in." he groans nonetheless, the upper part of his body laid flat on his desk, utterly defeated. Better make it quick, like an injection.

"Victor?"

Victor's heart jumps.

"Y-Yuuri!"

Yuuri's fingers grip the doorframe tightly. His shoulders are tense, his cheeks slightly red. He bites his lip, like he's not sure of what to say. Whenever his eyes meet Victor's, he inhales sharply and shifts his gaze to the floor.

"Can we talk?" he asks at last, his voice very soft.

Victor almost scrambles off his desk. "Yes!" Yuuri flinches and Victor regrets everything that has led them to this point. "I mean, I'm… sure. Please, come inside." He says, climbing to sit on the edge of the desk.

Yuuri seems to hesitate, like he's having second thoughts about this and considering just going back to finish his packing and moving away far, far away from Victor. He looks briefly at Chris, who fakes looking at a wristwatch he doesn't wear and gasping in horror.

"Would you look at the time, I have a meeting with the headmistress in two minutes, I must get going right away." He prances to the door and unceremoniously pulls Yuuri through the threshold and inside the room. He mouths a 'good luck' at Victor before shutting the door behind his back.

"I…" Yuuri begins, shaking slightly. "I heard you couldn't fly…" He pauses, looks at Victor briefly. "Are you alright?"

Victor's heart clenches painfully. Yuuri came all the way here, in spite of everything that has happened, just to check in on his well-being. "Yeah, I'm fine," he replies airily, shaking his hand dismissively.

"Have you gone to the doctor? I-I could… try to make a potion to—"

Too sweet. Too kind. Victor was never worthy of him. "It's okay, don't worry. It'll fix itself eventually." That's a lie, of course. The only way a fae who has lost their wings can ever fly again is to forget the one that broke their heart. It's not something Victor can ever do. But that's no one's fault but his own, the last thing he wants is to make Yuuri feel that he's responsible for his tragedy.

"Oh." Yuuri looks a little relieved. "I'm glad."

Then there's silence.

Victor stands still, holding his breath. Should he say something? Does Yuuri want to say something else? He definitely looks like he has more to say, but does he want to say it now? Maybe now that he thinks Victor's loss of flight has nothing to do with him, he just wants to leave but he doesn't want to appear rude? Should Victor say something? What if they both try to speak at the same time and trip over each other's words, just to make the situation even more awkward?

The silence hangs heavy over their heads. Yuuri fidgets, his gaze wandering. Victor chews on his lower lip.

"Yuuri, I…" He pauses, just in case Yuuri had decided to speak up again. Yuuri just turns to look at him with wide eyes. "I'm really sorry about… yesterday. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable."

Yuuri shakes his head vigorously. "That's not… I really should've labeled it properly. It was careless and unprofessional, and it could've been dangerous for you. I'm really sorry."

"No, Yuuri, I have no one but myself to blame. You did tell me many times about the colors of the vials. I should've paid attention." To think that, for all the love he claims to profess for Yuuri, he had failed to listen to him properly. What a terrible thing it must be for Yuuri, to be loved by someone so thoughtless. "Were… were the flowers right, at least?"

Yuuri cuts himself off before he can start apologizing again and blaming himself unfairly yet again, looking at Victor with bewilderment. "The flowers?"

Oh no, he got those wrong too? "The ink lilies? You told me once how much you wanted to find some to test on your Panacea, didn't you? Did you not need them anymore?"

"Oh, y-yeah, those…" Yuuri seems a little dazed. "I-I think they'll be very useful for my research, thank you."

Victor sighs with relief. "I'm glad." It seems like the air around them is finally relaxing a little, the tension slowly dissipating. "My mother would call me a disgrace to the faerie blood if I couldn't even tell apart different flowers. Especially after all the months it took to find them." He chuckles lightly. How he wishes things could be simple again.

It is not to be. Yuuri freezes and Victor panics.

"I-I mean-" How can he fix this? What can he say to not make Yuuri feel uncomfortable?

But rather than looking upset or uneasy, Yuuri's expression only conveys confusion. "Months?"

That certainly wasn't the response he expected. "Huh?"

"You said… you were trying to find the flowers for months."

He cocks his head, befuddled "Well… yes. You mentioned you wanted them back in December, remember? When I asked you what would you ask for a present if Santa Claus existed? I'm sorry it took so long."

"But why… why would you spend months trying to find some… flowers?"

Victor is mildly offended by the implication that the flowers he worked so hard to get were just ' _some'_ flowers. "I just… I wanted to give you something that would make you happy," he says, quietly, trying to smile a little nonetheless.

His response doesn't seem to help Yuuri settle down or clear his doubts. If anything, he looks even more distraught and confused than before. "Make me… happy?" His gaze travels down to the palms of his hands, and he blinks rapidly. "Why?"

Victor pushes a strand of hair behind his ear, his heart jumping in his chest. It almost seems like Yuuri's purposefully trying to make this more difficult. Maybe he just wants to humiliate him a little, let him feel exactly how Yuuri had felt with Victor's multiple, awfully public amorous proclamations.

"I… thought I made that abundantly clear. I mean… given everything I said yesterday." He looks away and clenches his eyes, waiting for another rejection, probably even harsher than the first one.

It doesn't come.

"Wait, the effect hasn't worn off?"

Victor lifts his gaze, not sure he's heard it right. "The effect of what?"

Yuuri buries his face in his hands, shoulders shaking, clearly in distress. "The Phillyax you drank yesterday," he mutters, his voice muffled.

Now Victor is confused "The what?"

Yuuri's whole body tenses, and he makes a small horrified sound, face still hidden behind his palms. "Th-the love potion!" he sputters, looking up at him, eyes wide with fear and pain, his fingers clutching at his dark hair, "What you drank yesterday, from my desk, it was a love potion. I'm so sorry Victor, I swear I didn't mean—"

"I know what Phillyax is, I just don't remember drinking it."

Finally, Yuuri drops his hands from his head "Why else would you have said and done all those things yesterday?"

"Because I drank the _Aquaveri_ you were going to use for class...?" Right? It had to be a truth potion, why else would he start spouting all those embarrassing confessions that he'd kept secret for so long, in exaggerated public demonstrations for the whole world to hear?

Yuuri gapes, his dismay visibly increasing. "I'm not teaching _Aquaveri_ until the end of the semester!"

"But you were brewing it over the weekend, you told me!"

"Because _Aquaveri_ takes three months to brew! Yesterday's class was supposed to be on _Phillyax_!"

Victor blinks, his mind running on full engine to process the information. "Oh." He scratches his chin. "Huh." He stares at Yuuri in stunned silence "Well, I guess that would also make sense." A love potion. Not a truth potion. Maybe that explains why the whole thing had felt so pleasant, very different from all the stories he'd heard about how awful truth potions were.

Yuuri steps back, eyes wide in confusion. "I still don't understand, why did you think you'd taken truth potion?"

In that moment, Victor realizes he could take it all back. Now that he's learned that he'd taken a love potion, he could pretend that he hadn't really meant anything he'd said. Maybe Yuuri was hoping he would do that. Maybe things could go back to how they were before.

Still, he doesn't. Instead, he smiles sadly and flicks his head slightly to the side. "Isn't it obvious?" He replies softly, glancing away, all too conscious of the blush on his cheeks. "Because everything I said is true."

Yuuri stares at him with perplexed wide eyes. Victor wants to slam his head on the wall.

"I'm really sorry, Yuuri." He sighs melancholically. "I don't… I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable with… my feelings. But I do want to be honest with you, I don't think it'd be fair to lie after everything that's happened. I won't mention it again. And I'll move out of the apartment, it was your place to begin with. I'll figure it out. I've inconvenienced you enough, I—

"I don't… I don't understand. It doesn't make sense!"

"What doesn't make sense?"

Yuuri inhales sharply and looks at him like he's terrified to speak. He trembles from head to toe, his cheeks dusted with a light red color. Tears pool at the corners of his beautiful brown eyes. "That you… that you would l-love _me,_ " he says at last, his voice so small it's almost inaudible over the broken sob that leaves his lips.

There's something in the way he says it that shatters Victor's heart into pieces.

"Why… wouldn't it make sense?" he asks carefully, leaning slightly forward, still sitting on the desk and keeping his distance so Yuuri doesn't feel cornered. He's terribly confused but he feels there's something going through Yuuri's mind, something that might shine even the slightest ray of hope on this grim situation. At least he wants to believe there is. "Why wouldn't I love you?"

Yuuri sobs quietly. Victor has to use all his willpower not to run to him and hug him.

"I'm just… I'm just me. There's never been anything remarkable about me. Why would someone… someone like you ever…"

At last, Victor hops off the desk and takes a tentative step forward. "Yuuri, I know I said I wouldn't mention it again but I... I can't stand seeing you speak so poorly about yourself. Yuuri, I've loved you since I first met you. How couldn't I? You were so dazzling, so smart, so confident, so enchanting, I—"

"What? I've… I've never been any of those things I'm…"

Victor sighs. It's not the first time he's heard Yuuri downplay any compliments and deny any good qualities he possesses. That doesn't make him any less upset whenever it happens "Oh Yuuri, you are all those things and more."

"I don't know where you ever got that idea."

Victor smiles fondly. "Since the day we met, in Sochi." He remembers it very clearly, the Potionmasters Summit being held at the Magical School where he used to train and teach. And the first glimpse he caught of Yuuri explaining all the incredible results he'd achieved with his research on Panacea and…

"I mean I… I remember that summit but my lecture was a disaster, I bombed it!" That is true. Yuuri had been so nervous that day he'd blown up his cauldron and it had blasted the toupee off the Committee Chairman's head. He'd been denied funding on his research because of that. But the brilliance and potential of the project had been undeniable, even to Victor who had very minimal knowledge on the subject "And we didn't talk at all back then so I don't..."

Victor's eyes widen. Didn't… talk? "You don't remember the dinner party afterwards?" he asks, realizing there is something off about this conversation. Maybe about how he'd approached their whole friendship since he first moved into Yuuri's apartment

The question only seems to increase Yuuri's dismay "I do, I just got drunk in a corner and had to be dragged to my room. It was an embarrassment, why are you reminding me of this now?" he whines miserably.

"That's… not what happened."

"Huh?"

Victor would never forget that fateful night. He'd been so interested in his project that he had tried to approach Yuuri and found him wildly inebriated, yet completely delightful, charming beyond belief. Faefolk were known to be guardians of the purest, most exquisite arts, but Victor had never met someone so beautiful, so musical in every word he spoke and every move he made. Yuuri had even shown him some of his aerial gymnastics moves ("I wanted to do it when I was younger, but I was never good enough", Yuuri had said, his voice slurred by the alcohol) They'd danced the night away to the cheers of the crowd. The world had been swept from under Victor's feet. He had never experienced anything so magical, so earth-shattering. Yuuri danced like he was made of air and water but his words, the look on his eyes, it was pure fire. By the time Yuuri's mentor had shown up and helped drag him back to his room, Victor knew there was no going back. And although he'd been crushingly disappointed to learn Yuuri had flown back to Japan early the next morning, without even leaving a note, his mind had been made. He quit his job, convinced his mother to give him a large supply of fairy dust, and embarked on a long flight half across the globe, chasing that spark of utmost joy that he'd never experienced before meeting Yuuri.

When he finishes the story, Yuuri's expression has shifted, the tears replaced with utter shock and horror.

"Oh my _god_ ," he whines. "I made a complete fool of myself. In front of the greatest researchers and potionmasters of the world. Oh my god."

Victor grimaces. "Yuuri, aren't you missing the big picture here?" He can understand that Yuuri is thrown off by all this new information. Victor himself is trying to come to terms with the fact that the dance that had changed Victor's life never even happened as far as Yuuri remembers. Still, it seems a little off-putting that Yuuri seems to be overlooking the reality that Victor's confession hadn't been a fabrication of the love potion but an expression of his truest feelings. "Yuuri?" he presses, lightly, trying to gauge a reaction.

It seems to suffice to yank Yuuri out of his embarrassed mumblings. He looks up at Victor, his eyes take a moment to focus. It's clearly taking Yuuri a long time to fully acknowledge what this all means. Victor waits, patiently, and smiles just a little. And then there's a change. Yuuri inhales sharply and tenses, his face quickly turning bright red. It is even more surprising how quickly he regains control of himself, taking a small, tentative step towards Victor. He looks down at his palms and fidgets, nervously. Eventually he takes a deep breath that settles down his trembling. When he finally meets Victor's eyes again, his own are wide, bright, equal parts scared and hopeful.

"Are you still-?" he asks, voice thin and terrified, baring just the smallest, dimmest glimmer of hope.

Victor doesn't need to ask. "Of course."

Yuuri flinches, his hands clenched in fists. "I'm nothing like the man you met in that party. You've surely realized that by now. I've got nothing but… this." He signs at his whole body, defeated, his voice shaking. "There's nothing dazzling or exciting. Just… me."

Victor finds himself smiling as he takes another small step forward. "There is nothing else I could possibly want."

Yuuri inhales sharply again, tears pool at the corners of his eyes. "So you're saying—"

Victor reaches out with his hand tentatively, stopping just an inch short of touching Yuuri's cheek "That I love you, yes."

Yuuri blinks and a tear spills down his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans ever the slightest into Victor's hand. Victor's heart jumps, like it's received a jolt of electricity. He brushes the stray tear away with his thumb, feels the corners of his own eye sting.

"For real this time?"

"It's always been for real."

"But there's no… it's not a potion? I'm not imagining things I can't have?" Yuuri chokes on a sob and Victor's heart hurts.

"You've always had me, Yuuri. And you always will, for as long as you want me," he whispers, leaning just a little bit closer.

Yuuri opens his eyes again and finally takes a step forward. He lifts a trembling hand slowly, carefully. His thumb graces Victor's cheek. He leans forward just a tiny bit. His eyes glimmer with the tears, but there's also a tiny spark in them. Hope.

"Victor, can I…?"

" _Please_."

And then, Victor closes his eyes, Yuuri's breath feels warm against his skin. His lips smooth, salty with tears, but their soft pressure is confident and wanting. Victor's heart swells, he can hear a symphony echoing in his mind, flowers and colors explode inside his eyelids. His body feels warm and light. Like he's flying.

* * *

When Yuuri finally (reluctantly) pulls away and opens his eyes, he notices his feet aren't touching the ground anymore. He looks down to see they're floating a few meters above the magic dome over Victor's office, Victor's arms tightly wrapped around his waist.

"V-victor, we're-!"

When he shifts his gaze back to Victor, all words die in his mouth. He looks radiant. His silver hair glows like moonlight and there's a light pink flush on his cheeks and the tip of his nose. His blue eyes sparkle with a joy that echoes the brightness of his smile. The stray tears falling down his smooth cheeks glisten with the setting sunlight. He's never looked so beautiful. When he laughs, it's like a bird's song. Yuuri's heart skips a beat.

"Well, they do say whoever steals the heart of a fae shall touch the sky."

It hits him then.

 _They say a fae with a broken heart will lose their wings._

 _Whose fault do you think that is?_

"Victor!" His chest clenches painfully. "It was… it was my fault that you couldn't fly."

Victor quirks an eyebrow, then frowns. "Yuuuuuri," he whines, the lilt on his voice oddly cute, "Why are you bringing up this pointless thing instead of kissing me again?"

Yuuri blushes, his face burning. "I-I… I'm just… I'm sorry." He sighs, his fingers absentmindedly clenching the fabric of Victor's shirt.

Unexpectedly, Victor chuckles and leans forward, his forehead pressed lightly against Yuuri's, his hands cupping Yuuri's face. "It's also thanks to you that I can fly again. Give me a kiss and we're even, yes?"

Yuuri's heart flutters and he feels himself smile in spite of everything else as he tilts his head just so that he can find Victor's mouth one more time. And it's as magical as the first one, even as they slowly spin and descend back to the ground. When they part, Yuuri feels the hardwood floor of Victor's office under his shoes.

They stay like that, quietly staring into each other's eyes and basking in the bliss of the moment, the warmth of embracing each other and feeling like they have never been closer than now.

* * *

They walk back home in silence, the back of their hands brushing with every step. The sky has turned red and gold, their shadows entangle behind them on the stone floor. A soft, peaceful breeze grazes their skin. When Victor looks at Yuuri, the golden light makes the blush on his cheeks look even warmer. His whole body tingles, still in disbelief, not daring to reach and grab Yuuri's hand in spite of their closeness. To think just a few hours ago he'd been convinced their friendship was over for good because he'd been so careless about Yuuri's potion vials…

"Oh!" he halts where he stands, clapping his hands together "I know how I can compensate! For drinking the potion for your class!"

Yuuri turns around to look at him, blinking in confusion "Huh?" he quirks an eyebrow and cocks his head "You don't need to do that. I'm not angry at all. Just promise to be more careful."

Victor beams leaning down to be at Yuuri's eye-level and grabs both of his hands, excited.

"I will, I promise! But hear me out!" even if he's failed at times, he still does listen to what Yuuri says and stores it in his memory dearly. And one thing he's known for a long time is that Yuuri always wanted to make a difference for his students. "I'm sure you'll love this idea!"

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yuuri asks, for the millionth time.

Victor bounces on the tips of his toes. "I'm sure! It's the whole reason you wanted to give this class, isn't it?"

There's a lilt in his voice, and Yuuri knows him well enough to know he's as nervous as he's excited. Yuuri smiles and reaches out to grab Victor's hand lightly. "Thank you for doing this."

"I'm happy to be of help" Victor replies with a grin.

Boldly, Yuuri leans on the tips of his toes to peck Victor's cheek. "I'll call you when it's ready." He says, and pulls away and walks through the door before Victor can react, chuckling at the brief glance he gets of Victor's flustered expression.

The school's auditorium is packed full of students from all grades, the noise of their voices deafening in the enclosed space. Yuuri can sense the excitement and curiosity that fill the room. The headmistress is sitting in the far back, watching intently. She had been reluctant to approve his proposal, but he pushed through, more convinced than ever about it. After coming this far, he couldn't just give up; he has a responsibility towards his students.

He takes a deep breath, shakes his arms to release some tension and steps forward to the center of the plateau. His body tingles with nervousness and he clears his throat. The auditorium falls quiet and all the students turn to look at him. Yuuri grips the wooden podium tightly. The last time he had so many eyes on him, a year ago in Sochi, it ended in a catastrophe of such magnitude he lost all opportunities of getting funding for his research.

He won't fail like that again. Not today. He owes his students better.

"Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you very much for coming to this special seminar." He states calmly, breathing deeply. I'm sure everyone remembers that I had to cancel our scheduled lectures about Phillyax due to an unforeseen incident. So today I wanted to make up for that class, and I have three main goals that I hope to achieve: firstly that everyone here learns the effects of the potion and why it is so dangerous. Secondly, that you'll learn to recognize its most prominent features so you know if something you're about to consume is altered. And lastly, that you learn to recognize the symptoms and how you can help someone who is under the effects of this potion, including how to brew an antidote."

The whispers grow louder. Yuuri can almost smell their excitement. His eyes search for Ryoumi-san and sees her smiling, her hands clutched together tightly. On the far back, he catches sight of Yurio leaning forward on his desk, failing to mask his interest. He's more convinced than ever that this was the right course of action, the best he can do as a teacher to prepare his students and give them tools to create a brighter future.

"To help me with today's important lesson, I have recruited someone who has had firsthand experience with Phillyax to answer all of your questions regarding its effects. Everyone please say thanks to professor Nikiforov."

Yuuri's heart beats loud and fast as Victor enters the room. There are some surprised gasps among the students, some giggles, and some whispers coming from the front row, so loud they would hardly qualify as whispers anymore. Victor seems unfazed, waving and smiling before taking a seat in the center of the stage.

"Hello, everyone! I'm really excited to be here with you to share my experiences and help Yuuri during this special lesson. Your teacher worked really hard to make this class a reality, so I hope all of you are grateful for his efforts!"

Yuuri blushes furiously.

"So to get started, I thought it would be best if everyone asked me their questions and I answer them, yes? Raise your hand if you have a question, no shouting."

Expectedly, half of the hands in the auditorium shoot up instantaneously.

"How did it feel like?"

"When did you realize you were under the effects of the potion?"

"Did it hurt?"

"Did you have any after effects?"

"How long does the effect last?"

Victor answers the questions calmly and professionally, adding in bits of more complex information Yuuri had supplied him with when they were preparing for the class. Yuuri intervenes only on occasion to talk about the components of the potion and the chemical reactions it produces on the brain. It goes surprisingly smoothly.

"Professor, after taking the potion made by Professor Katsuki, the two of you have started a romantic relationship, have you not? Wouldn't that be proof that the potion works?"

Yuuri freezes. He'd been dreading some questioning down that line and he had hesitated to bring Victor to the class for the exact same reason. He had discussed the possibility with Victor, who had reassured him that everything would be alright, but a part of him had been praying it wouldn't come up.

Victor, however, isn't fazed; his smile remains intact on his face. "Oh no, please don't take such a misguided impression from this situation. My feelings for Yuuri were already there long before I ever took the potion." He looks down at his lap, his palms laying flat one on top of the other. "And although Phillyax exacerbated those feelings and suppressed the brain-to-mouth filter, it also twisted many things. I did many things I am ashamed of, things that hurt Yuuri and were disrespectful to him and a poor representation of my own feelings. I still dread that Yuuri got a wrong impression of my feelings based on how I acted that day." It's all Yuuri can do to hold back the urge to interrupt, to reassure Victor that he doesn't think that at all. "Rather, I think Phillyax caused a rift in our friendship and almost caused it to fall apart completely. It was extremely lucky that everything fell into place at the end and there are many things that I think we'll have to work out little by little. But I am confident that we can figure it out, not due to, but rather _in spite of_ Phillyax; because the feeling of love between us has always been real." He turns his head slightly to the side and looks at Yuuri with the most affectionate of smiles.

Some of the students gasp, others coo with airy 'awww's. Yuuri burns from the inside out, certain his face has never been redder, his hand clutching over his chest, and he wants to chastise Victor for being so candid, just as much as he wants to kiss him.

"Th-that's right." He manages to say, over the tightening of his chest and the warmth on his cheeks. "Above all, Phillyax has the effect of overriding the victim's will and artificially causing chemical reactions to certain stimuli to induce the illusion of affection. If the chemical reactions were already present in the brain, it is only natural that the effects of the potion would be much stronger, but this shouldn't be taken as an indication that the potion can have any positive effect in a person's feelings. Like Professor Nikiforov explained, it is quite the contrary, as the victim will feel powerless, having their free will stripped, and subjected to shame and guilt for saying and doing things they didn't want. If there is one thing I want to make absolutely clear in this lesson is that there are no benefits to the use of this Phillyax, and it would be more appropriate to label it as a type of poison, which means our main concern must be to know how to neutralize its effects."

A stunned silence fall over the auditorium. In the students' faces, Yuuri finds surprise and the dawning of realization. Some of them cover their mouths with their hands. In the far back, headmistress smiles and gives him a thumbs up. Relief washes over him and he grins, glancing back at Victor, who beams back at him before turning towards the students.

"Okay, next question!"

* * *

Yuuri sighs with a mix of relief and exhaustion as the headmistress leaves the room after having agreed to his proposal of organizing more seminars like today's and offering more funding for his research projects. The students' buzzing chatter can still be heard from outside and Yuuri himself still feels his blood vibrate with excitement. After wanting it for so long, he still hadn't expected it to go so well, and his mind is already rushing with ideas for the future. Maybe he can even dream of submitting a funding application to the Magical Research Council that could have a remote chance of getting approved.

Long arms snake around his waist, pulling him back slightly into a warm embrace. "I'm so proud of you." Victor sighs, lips hovering a breath away from Yuuri's neck, his hot exhale tickling his skin. "You were incredible up there."

Yuuri inhales sharply and shivers, setting his hands on top of Victor's. "It was all thanks to you. I couldn't have done it without your support."

Victor shakes his head and steps back, and Yuuri almost chases after his embrace. Instead, he turns around to meet Victor's eyes. "I know you've wanted to teach things like this for a really long time. You've given the kids something invaluable to protect themselves and their loved ones, something no one else would've wanted to give them. That's all you."

Without thinking, his hand reaches forward and grabs Victor's, entwining their fingers. His heart flutters in his chest and he feels himself smile. "Thank you." It's still a little hard to believe, that all of this is real. Just a year ago he had faced the biggest of failures, his research stumped by his own incompetence, and made a fool of himself in front of a man he idolized and forgot all about it. And now here he stands, more accomplished than he's ever felt as a professional, and holding Victor's warm hand in his, knowing that when Victor says he loves him, he means it for real.

"Victor?"

"Yes, Yuuri?"

"Before, you told me… that you meant everything you said when you were under the effects of the potion…" he trails off, not sure if he should continue.

Victor cocks his head "I did. Though, like I said, some things I would've… done a bit differently, had I been in control of my actions." He scratches his chin thoughtfully. "Why?"

Yuuri swallows, heat climbing up to his cheeks quickly. Should he really bring this up? "You asked me to marry you."

In less than a heartbeat, Victor's whole face goes completely red.

"Oh. That."

He hides his face behind his palms. Yuuri can't remember ever seeing Victor so consumed by shame. It's cute.

"I mean I… I know it was definitely inappropriate and premature… but…" he peeks through his fingers, his blue eyes smoldering when they meet Yuuri's. "I have thought about it, yes. Probably more than I should."

"Oh."

Now it's Yuuri's turn to blush.

Immediately, Victor backtracks. "You can ignore it! Please ignore it! I-I mean, this is very new and I… ugh. I'm really sorry about that, Yuuri. I truly never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable."

Without really thinking, Yuuri reaches out to grab Victor's wrist, stopping his flailing. He gasps, his heart jumps, and he looks up at Victor to find him as flustered as Yuuri feels. "I… uh, it-it _is_ too soon." He stutters, mind rushing to find the right words. "But… we _have_ time." He squeezes Victor's wrist tightly. "What I mean is… we can… take some time… figure this out…" he motions with his free hand to the space between them. "And if it's okay with you to hold that thought…" he trails off, his cheeks burning, unable to articulate the thought in full.

Victor inhales sharply, his blush turning an even brighter red, his eyes widen and, a moment later, his lips spread in the widest, most beautiful of smiles. He tugs his wrist free of Yuuri's grasp and cups Yuuri's hands with his, beaming. Absentmindedly, Yuuri notices his feet lifting slightly from the ground, faerie dust scattering around him.

"Yuuri, let me kiss you, _please_."

His heart jumps. Since when does Victor look at him with such joy and tenderness, he wonders? For how long has been blind to something so obvious?

He nods.

Victor beams and leans in closer. Yuuri lets his eyes fall shut and tilts his head slightly, the kiss soft and warm.

"Just so you know, next time I ask I…" Victor whispers as they part, before closing the distance again. " _will_ have a proper ring for you…"

Yuuri hums, smiling into the kiss.

It could be a little fun, he thinks, if he were to get a ring for Victor first.

 **The end.**

My deepest apologies, this was never supposed to take so long to write. I got stuck with that seminar scene, because I thought it was important, given that in this setting the love potion is considered pretty much a rape drug, to ground the whole thing instead of making light of it just because the misunderstanding was resolved. Writing that scene was awfully hard, I don't know why I write myself into corners like this.

Thank you to everyone for your patience and everyone who was waiting for this second chapter. It's unusual for me to write a story with so few chapters lol. I hope you enjoy how this one turned out, thanks for your support and encouragement. I'll be waiting for your comments as usual


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